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Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Keep the tight-butt-crack revealing pants at home..not church..!!

        On  Sunday's,after a long week,full of the hustles,stress and strifes of Nairobi life,i usually take time (when i can..) and go make peace with my maker.
Despite the prior nights activities,i try my best to wake up early enough to make it for the English service before the pews fill up.
I attend an Anglican church.Back in the days it used to be conservative in terms of worship and prayers.I recall the way it used to be dull with singing of hymns..{"oooh what a friend we have in Jesus.."..."Amazing Grace,Oooh how sweet thou art..".."Once in Royal David's City..."..yawn..!By the time the preacher got to the pulpit to preach,i would be strugling to keep my eyes open.If i were a cartoon character,id be putting some tooth picks on my eyelids to keep them open.But i digress...

This particular Sunday,i made it to church early and sat on the 4th pew from the front.I was amazed myself at how early i had made it.Infact i was so early to witness the clergy procession to the front.
The pew infront of me was still empty.The service began with the usual prayers and bible readings.

I had pinned my head down in prayer,eyes closed,that i did not notice some 3 ladies walking in and sitting on the empty pew infront of me.First,i smelt their cheap perfume before i saw them and when i opened my eyes what i saw FIRST was not appealing!Because i saw 'cracks'!It was not the kind of thing that i'd have imagined seeing especially in my holy state and in a holy sanctuary that is the church.Lo' and behold my eyes were staring at three butt cracks!

The first thoughts{ obsecene word format..} on my mind were sh%*!and WTF!!!!Then i was embarassed for thinking such obscenities in church and i closed my eyes again and said a little prayer and asked God to forgive me.

These three ladies who seemingly were friends,judging from the way they kept whispering and giggling to each throughout the service,were 'sent from hell' to distract 'believers' like me.Or how would you explain why they were here in tight jeans and tight hipster trousers (..material by the way..) with a small top that barely covered the 'essentials' as they sat down!

Not to say they were 'affecting' me in a 'positive perverted way',but i was more of disgusted and nauseated!

What made me even more annoyed {..and i asked God to forgive for getting annoyed in church..}was the fact that they kept looking behind to see if anyone was 'peeping'at their cracks and then kept pulling their small tops downwards to cover the uncoverables.
I tend to think there is an unwritten rule that when such ladies wear such tight pants,the butt crack somehow has to creep to the surface like a leaf seeking light for it to complete a photosynthesis processs!Even worse,the worn out cotton grandma underwear has to be the 'icing' to this whole dressing disaster!

Being a liberal church,we have a vibrant praise and worship team.The flambouyant youth in our church go all out when it comes to worship songs that involves dancing,jumping and turning around to high five the fellow next to you.If you imagination is on point you can imagine what i was not trying to see from the pew infront of me.

This whole scenario made me question why any woman/lady with an ounce of decency would show up with a tight jeans or trousers to church?Dont get me wrong,i dont expect ladies to come into church in long skirts with their hair in a head scarf SDA style..

My pastor once preached about this issue.He challenged the congregation to treat the church with respect in terms of how we presented ourselves before God.He likened it to attending an interview or even a wedding.He posed,"Why would you show up at a wedding all made up in your expensive clothes,nice perfume/cologne and expensive shoes and on the contrary show up to church in sandals,an un ironed shirt/tshirt and a pair of jeans that you just 'threw on'?"

The same way,id also pose:"Why would a lady come to church;in the presence of God 'indecently dressed'
Why a tight jeans?Why that tight Trouser?Why that tight,short top?

The Scribe rests his pen.


  1. why not.. men are so obsessed by suppressing women and like to use the Bible as an excuse to do this. It is extremely chauvinistic.

  2. hmmm Zataxs,im trying to figure whether u are on my side or against.Oh well...

  3. Am a woman and i cn dress any how i wnt!but when i do go to church i have respect for the most high!i dnt mean i have to wear lng skirt!but respectfully since,so ladys change tabia hiyo chafu.

  4. @Anonymous,{wish i din't hv to call you that}you are right.Common decency calls for restraint with regards to environment and setting.It's unfortunate when some ladies claim they are free{read their right}to wear what they feel like.But what if your right infringes on that of another's {comfortability}..waache tabia chafu kweli...