Keep the tight-butt-crack revealing pants at home..not church..!!

        On  Sunday's,after a long week,full of the hustles,stress and strifes of Nairobi life,i usually take time (when i can..) and go make peace with my maker.
Despite the prior nights activities,i try my best to wake up early enough to make it for the English service before the pews fill up.
I attend an Anglican church.Back in the days it used to be conservative in terms of worship and prayers.I recall the way it used to be dull with singing of hymns..{"oooh what a friend we have in Jesus.."..."Amazing Grace,Oooh how sweet thou art..".."Once in Royal David's City..."..yawn..!By the time the preacher got to the pulpit to preach,i would be strugling to keep my eyes open.If i were a cartoon character,id be putting some tooth picks on my eyelids to keep them open.But i digress...

This particular Sunday,i made it to church early and sat on the 4th pew from the front.I was amazed myself at how early i had made it.Infact i was so early to witness the clergy procession to the front.
The pew infront of me was still empty.The service began with the usual prayers and bible readings.

Urinary Incontinence: Cure Exists

Edith suffered silently. Everyday posed a greater challenge than the previous and she constantly suffered shame and stigma.

It all started after the delivery of her first child. The episiotomy (a surgically planned incision on the perineum and the posterior vaginal wall during the second stage of labour) that saved the life of her beloved son turned out to be the cause of all her troubles.

"I had suffered incontinence for 10 years. It started after the birth of my son in 1990. Telling people about my experience is embarrassing; I would be standing and discover my shoes full of urine," she said.

The business meetings she used to chair now became a nightmare, calling for a recess after every few minutes to go and answer a call of nature. Her annual vacation to Mombasa became a thing of the past due to the embarrassing situation she had to endure all the way to the Coast, especially if she was travelling by bus. Having to stop the driver every now and then was not her cup of tea.

Her relationship with her husband became strained as she frequently passed urine during intimate moments causing her tremendous emotional distress. The risk of public embarrassment kept her from enjoying many activities with family and friends. Her self esteem took a downward plunge with the knowledge that she had to make do with diapers. Moreover, the diapers were causing her skin irritation and sores.

Two women standing outside KNH Casualty

Fortunately for her, she found out that the problem that had almost destroyed her life was curable.  She was suffering from urinary incontinence.

Breathing Space, Please..!

Do you recall that PK{a breath mint} TV ad that had this dude and his wife- to- be at the altar about to say their wedding  vows? At that heightened moment of anticipation, the dude reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a fresh-mint chewing gum {or was it a kid who handed him the gum..Hmm.. ?if you are Kenyan im sure you know this ad} How about the Close Up tooth paste ads that had couples’ picture perfect moments turning out as such .You could even sense the love between the couples seeing that they were both so confident and at ease sitting facing each other in intimate posture.

Where am I going with this?

Well, this week, I ran into a long lost friend who literally took my breath away. I am sure you are thinking I was smitten by one of those drop-dead beauties from those Mexican Soaps you watch ever so religiously on telly every evening? On the contrary..You are so wrong!

The last time I saw this friend was some time in 2001.Do the Math.As fate would have it on it was on a sweltering afternoon in the streets of Nairobi and I was going about my usual day to day activities. From the corner of my eye I saw someone waving frantically. I did not give it much thought and I kept walking. Then I heard someone call my name. So I turned, and who do I see,…Monica*{not her real name for fear of victimization and a dented self esteem arising from the flow of this story…}.Ofcourse,I was taken aback, because the last time I saw her she was off to the U.S to study after we finished our Pre-Uni in 2001.

Mike Sonko,a reflection of the Kenyan Youth?

Speaking from a Youth's point of view,im appalled at the recent social misdemeanor displayed by the 'flambouyant' Makadara MP,Mike Mbuvi a.k.a Sonko.
Watching news on TV recently when a local TV station serialised Sonko's queer activities in the recent past,to say the least i was embarrassed of being a Kenyan Youth.
Sonko epitomises a lost generation of the Kenyan youth!Yes...there..i said it!

Rasta Man or your Member of Parliament?

It is no wonder the old folks have a reason to claim the youth are 'the leaders on tomorrow' and not today if the present day youth is displayed in the nature of Sonko and others of his ilk.
I can only imagine how my own father in Rural Kisumu shook his head on seeing Sonko adorning a Rasta Cap with dreadlocks and seeking attention as an 'authority voice' of the youth.Im sure if my dad had a facebook or twitter page he would have updated his status immediately and written.."Mike Sonko...NKT"..!!!

The Rita Muchiri's of Kenya eat your hearts out

I wonder what Ms.Rita Muchiri and others of her ilk are thinking when they realise that soon their desires to be millionaires might remain just that:a desire.

If you don't know who Rita is,you are either too ignorant of social media,not Kenyan or dont even listen to King'ang'i in the morning.Let me bring you up to speed(..yawn..!).

She is the lady who caused so much ruckus recently by claiming that any 'serious marriage contender' will have to cough up a whooping Ksh 1Million!Her logic is that,being a learned 'independent' woman pursuing  her  masters’ degree in law and economy,she will have spent over Ksh 1.2 Milliion by the end of her education.
This is the much Ms.Rita would have spent from Primary all the way to University.

Rita Muchiri:The 1Million Shilling Dowry Mamacita.

So,you see,to be her ideal " tall, brown, financially stable, well-educated, and responsible" suitor you ought to be ready to part with Ksh 1 Million  plus as a 'Thank you" to her parents.

The Simon Makonde Phenomenon

Back in the day,when I was in Primary school,I think it was in Class Two or Class Three there,I remember reciting about this character called Simon Makonde.I cant really recall how the story flowed but I remember ,Makonde,a full mundu khu mundu, was born on Monday and died on a Sunday.

That part I cant forget.In a stint between Tuesday to Saturday,he went to school,married and got sick…!I think in between cramming my multiple table of 12 and trying to figure out outdated mathematics of how much it would cost to send a telegram chargeable per word and letter,I lost the Makonde Plot…!Yeah,thats the folly of the 8-4-4 system...!But look how i turned out? {by the way,if anyone remembers the flow of the Makonde story,i will be much obliged…}

In the short span that was his life,Simon Makonde accomplished what most people take a lifetime to accomplish.But then again,maybe the author of the Makonde story had something else in mind when he put his life span to within a week.Perhaps,a week in Makonde’s life could have been 20Years,50 Years,…heck who knows ,maybe even 100years!But at age 8/9 Years when I was reading this,I couldn’t comprehend what I do now.In my infant thinking,a week was a week and I will stick to that analogy.

Cheating Women Syndrome

Last evening, i was in a social  forum where a heated debate ensued on what makes women cheat.
I'm sure you have heard it over and over that men cheat out of lust or to fulfill  their ‘physical needs’.I agree to   a  great percentage with this. For men, it’s never emotional. That’s why men are big on one night stands with no feelings attached.
For women however, its purely emotional. And when women cheat, they go 100% emotional. And it’s all out and nasty to say the least!

R.Kelly sang it...”When a woman is fed up….there is nothing you can do about it...”,I couldn’t have said it better my self.

Long story short, it came out that women cheat because::